an old friend - a dead end by crashcoursewomb, literature
Literature
an old friend - a dead end
“Did you know I’m a lawyer now - a commercial one too.” “That doesn’t make sense, weren’t you like, meant to change the world or something” “Yeh yeh, yes - I’ll still do that but you know, right now I’m just trying to make peace with myself” “How’s that going?” “Mmm, well. I realised I need to sleep and eat and um, exercise” “Sounds like your goals have changed. You used to be so passionate” “Yeh, I guess. You have kids now” “You’re about to be engaged” “Yeh, sounds like the goal posts shifted” “Do you want a nice house now?” “One day, something by some water” - “Did we used to be deeper?” “Maybe, do you think the moment just passed? Like our years of youth were on fire. We were tumbling through toxicity.” “I think we got a kick out of it” “Sure. I always thought soap operas were so tacky. The drama was so high school - all those doctors cheating on their wives. Someone getting murdered and covering it up - “ “So high school,” “and like
Oh if I met you today... by crashcoursewomb, literature
Literature
Oh if I met you today...
I’d tell you, baby you’re on fire Keep burning, Keep burning, baby Till only embers are left But - Don’t burn out You are an echo chamber You are a self-destructive - You are so, so much I know you ran out of words, out of time, out of thoughts Not sure if you overflowed, or completely drained I think you were almost who you were, But, you were just living, thriving, surviving, the works - You held your pain so close, let it seep into your soul I see your pain, baby girl, it’s real It heals ‘ pain is like a wound, you have to stop touching it for it to heal ‘ You will heal Hold the moments tender, close your eyes, be steady Stop torturing yourself in those quiet moments Old soul, oh soul It’s okay, I swear, it is, Baby girl, don’t cry - you are enough, you matter, girl you are a woman and - you are on fire
I won't write about you. You're the one I want, always. I won't write about you. You are the only man that has ever shown me kindness. I won't write about you. You must be the sweetest soul I have ever known. I won't write about you.
i don’t know if this will reach you. i don’t know if i’ll send it. hell, i don’t even know if it will be you reading this. So, i write this tentatively, with doubt. it’s about time i said something.
i think a lot of me hardened after you. i used to think of the last time you drove to me, you arrived like it was all too much and you had some kind-of chip on your shoulder. you didn’t say anything. you didn’t say what you wanted. you left as defeated as you arrived, i didn’t stop you, i didn’t ask. it wasn’t on me anymore. you weren’t mine. i had hardened.
it’s taken me a
we write in the stale hours of days,
where we cease to exist and continue to be
--
we are in love, but we are so done
/.
i used to write and write and write,
notes scribbled between pages,
words stuck together in a frenzy of feeling
-
why can't it be easier
why can't this be love
you will speak and to me it sinks in
so
so
deeply
i'll frown, and it etches its matter to my soul
i cant run free in a world of my own because you run free with me
you're in my solace, you're in my quiet
-
you're not enough to fill my hunger
lie in my skin, lay close with my bones -
do you hear me? everything I am, everything that I could have been.
Are beautiful words written by the brittle and odd, the one's -
that don't speak words but think them over in the quiet of the night.
Am I small with the confines of my mind,
Am I a tumbling shadow in the back of your head?
Do I corrode into your thoughts, sit silently on the brink of your breath,
Do you love me or the memory of the docile being laying still,
Lie within my skin, lay close to my bones.
'i can't write about him'
'why'
'because i might say i don't love him, i might say i've never felt so alone in my head. i might tell him things that i couldn't ever say. i can't write about him because then i'll know. i'll know what he means to me and i know i'll have to walk away.'
'did he do something wrong'
'no, no i did. i did everything wrong, i did everything at the wrong time. and i forgot and i repeated and i hurt and i tore and i brought him to his knees. oh god.'
'i'm so alone, this is meant to be love but i'm so alone, i see no love in his eyes, i keep trying and trying and trying and i don't know what's going on, is he meant
have you ever tried to lose your mind,
tasted the numbness in your jaw,
felt it scatter into millions of fragments and
dissemble right in front of your eyes.
have you ever felt like everything you could see
did not even exist, as it spilled and corroded your mind.
like a shove into darkness, cruel and twisted,
everything you know,
everything you knew,
have you ever swallowed your mind,
the metallic aftertaste that swirls through your mouth,
the doubt that clouds your every step forward,
you crawl into your head,
you close every exit, every entrance
and you swear it,
never again.
when the past comes back do you stand tall
do you stand at all
when a reminder crawls up your spine and kisses you
do you remember, does it hurt you too
it's cold in this almost summe by crashcoursewomb, literature
Literature
it's cold in this almost summe
it's cold in this almost summer, almost spring, it's still winter.
it's cold in bed where your heart tumbles through you,
falls with your limbs, hits the cold floor.
it's cold,
when there's a whisper that's hurricane loud,
closer, closer, gone.
trust me
an old friend - a dead end by crashcoursewomb, literature
Literature
an old friend - a dead end
“Did you know I’m a lawyer now - a commercial one too.” “That doesn’t make sense, weren’t you like, meant to change the world or something” “Yeh yeh, yes - I’ll still do that but you know, right now I’m just trying to make peace with myself” “How’s that going?” “Mmm, well. I realised I need to sleep and eat and um, exercise” “Sounds like your goals have changed. You used to be so passionate” “Yeh, I guess. You have kids now” “You’re about to be engaged” “Yeh, sounds like the goal posts shifted” “Do you want a nice house now?” “One day, something by some water” - “Did we used to be deeper?” “Maybe, do you think the moment just passed? Like our years of youth were on fire. We were tumbling through toxicity.” “I think we got a kick out of it” “Sure. I always thought soap operas were so tacky. The drama was so high school - all those doctors cheating on their wives. Someone getting murdered and covering it up - “ “So high school,” “and like
Oh if I met you today... by crashcoursewomb, literature
Literature
Oh if I met you today...
I’d tell you, baby you’re on fire Keep burning, Keep burning, baby Till only embers are left But - Don’t burn out You are an echo chamber You are a self-destructive - You are so, so much I know you ran out of words, out of time, out of thoughts Not sure if you overflowed, or completely drained I think you were almost who you were, But, you were just living, thriving, surviving, the works - You held your pain so close, let it seep into your soul I see your pain, baby girl, it’s real It heals ‘ pain is like a wound, you have to stop touching it for it to heal ‘ You will heal Hold the moments tender, close your eyes, be steady Stop torturing yourself in those quiet moments Old soul, oh soul It’s okay, I swear, it is, Baby girl, don’t cry - you are enough, you matter, girl you are a woman and - you are on fire
I won't write about you. You're the one I want, always. I won't write about you. You are the only man that has ever shown me kindness. I won't write about you. You must be the sweetest soul I have ever known. I won't write about you.
i don’t know if this will reach you. i don’t know if i’ll send it. hell, i don’t even know if it will be you reading this. So, i write this tentatively, with doubt. it’s about time i said something.
i think a lot of me hardened after you. i used to think of the last time you drove to me, you arrived like it was all too much and you had some kind-of chip on your shoulder. you didn’t say anything. you didn’t say what you wanted. you left as defeated as you arrived, i didn’t stop you, i didn’t ask. it wasn’t on me anymore. you weren’t mine. i had hardened.
it’s taken me a
we write in the stale hours of days,
where we cease to exist and continue to be
--
we are in love, but we are so done
/.
i used to write and write and write,
notes scribbled between pages,
words stuck together in a frenzy of feeling
-
why can't it be easier
why can't this be love
you will speak and to me it sinks in
so
so
deeply
i'll frown, and it etches its matter to my soul
i cant run free in a world of my own because you run free with me
you're in my solace, you're in my quiet
-
you're not enough to fill my hunger
lie in my skin, lay close with my bones -
do you hear me? everything I am, everything that I could have been.
Are beautiful words written by the brittle and odd, the one's -
that don't speak words but think them over in the quiet of the night.
Am I small with the confines of my mind,
Am I a tumbling shadow in the back of your head?
Do I corrode into your thoughts, sit silently on the brink of your breath,
Do you love me or the memory of the docile being laying still,
Lie within my skin, lay close to my bones.
'i can't write about him'
'why'
'because i might say i don't love him, i might say i've never felt so alone in my head. i might tell him things that i couldn't ever say. i can't write about him because then i'll know. i'll know what he means to me and i know i'll have to walk away.'
'did he do something wrong'
'no, no i did. i did everything wrong, i did everything at the wrong time. and i forgot and i repeated and i hurt and i tore and i brought him to his knees. oh god.'
'i'm so alone, this is meant to be love but i'm so alone, i see no love in his eyes, i keep trying and trying and trying and i don't know what's going on, is he meant
have you ever tried to lose your mind,
tasted the numbness in your jaw,
felt it scatter into millions of fragments and
dissemble right in front of your eyes.
have you ever felt like everything you could see
did not even exist, as it spilled and corroded your mind.
like a shove into darkness, cruel and twisted,
everything you know,
everything you knew,
have you ever swallowed your mind,
the metallic aftertaste that swirls through your mouth,
the doubt that clouds your every step forward,
you crawl into your head,
you close every exit, every entrance
and you swear it,
never again.
when the past comes back do you stand tall
do you stand at all
when a reminder crawls up your spine and kisses you
do you remember, does it hurt you too
it's cold in this almost summe by crashcoursewomb, literature
Literature
it's cold in this almost summe
it's cold in this almost summer, almost spring, it's still winter.
it's cold in bed where your heart tumbles through you,
falls with your limbs, hits the cold floor.
it's cold,
when there's a whisper that's hurricane loud,
closer, closer, gone.
trust me
Is anyone else still kicking around on here? No matter how many fresh starts I undergo, DeviantArt remains unchanged.
You can find my latest fresh starts on my webpage, Facebook page, or twitter. I'm going to bring some of my old work back into the light of day.
Come say hi and tell me if the sky still looks the same after all of these years.
i can feel the world washing away my sadness as life evolves constantly like an ever-changing child curled up and trapped in a womb forever. the hands of time move so slowly yet not one thing remains still, colors bleeding into others and flurries of movement that is never repeated quite the same.
i am smiling as i turn my back, cutting away the feeble strings tied to my ankles and feeling the weight leave. a few silk ribbons have dug deep into my chest and wrapped themselves around my ribs, cradling my heart and promising truth. tears escape and follow a path my smile-lines create as hands reach out to me and i know those fingers will alway
What have you said at 3 am? by Tangled-Tales, literature
Literature
What have you said at 3 am?
Eyelids are heavy,
thoughts heavier,
feelings heaviest
and they say-
many fears are born
of fatigue and loneliness,
maybe this starlit conversation,
you'll discover
the thing he fears most,
with those sandbag eyes
and train wreck sentences,
is losing you.
there is nothing wrong
the wave crashes
there is silence and sea breeze
there is you
and there is me
and nothing is wrong,
i think i'm falling in love with you,
with your smile, with your smirk, with your glasses,
with your shoes, with your happy dance, with your guilty lashes
and sweet silent kisses,
with you
no promises i'll stay but
suggest me some of your recent fave pieces
of yours or just in general.
(:
:heart:
i've been missing you beautiful people. (:
It's been forever since I've actually gone back through my queued deviations to look at anyone's work. I deleted over 200 deviations without looking. I guess my interests had changed ... except for one Deviant. Your work is so extraordinary, crashcourse. It humbles me. I'm not sure how to say this without sounding masochistic but your work hurts to read because there's so much pain but it's unbelievably beautiful so it doesn't matter. You're a true inspiration to me. I just wanted you to know that. xoxo